| wth |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|07:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Whenever I update my LJ it never posts everything I type, but when I edit all the stuff is there.. weird.
Anyways, I've been in a weird mood lately, but everyone says they are too so I guess it's the weather or something? Jeez, winter it's cold and depressing then summer is hot and everyone is angry.
I'm 124 pounds, yay! I'm trying to gain weight, but also eat healthier. It's working too. And even if I don't gain more weight (and still look freaky in tshirts), oh well. I need to stop caring so much about what other people think, I know I've stopped thinking stupid stuff about others.
Stella is gone until like.. Wednesday or Thursday, which sucks. I've been talking about a lot of personal stuff with her lately, but oh well. This can be her break from my complaining and crap.
My family keeps going through a lot of stupid stuff.. nothing serious. My grandma is probably moving from Quebec to Grafton (my aunt's) because the guy she lives with (her "boyfriend".. eww) keeps treating her like crap and it's at the point where's she's scared of him. My mom keeps talking about two of my aunts and how much they're annoying her... I hope she just tells them and gets it over with it. If she holds it in she'll get in some huge argument, which I don't need right now because then I won't see my aunts who make me laugh for a while.
Even though I don't want arguments though (I've been an asshole to like 500 people in these past 2 months), if my aunt says one more gay joke... ugh. This is the aunt that kept being rude about my pink shirt that says "Homophobes Are Gay". It's funny how it's true, the most homophobic people end up being gay people trying to hide it. They're like gay Hitlers.
I have a lot of stuff on my mind.. but I won't talk about it yet. If I keep having problems sleeping though I guess I'll have to talk to someone about it. |
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| thirsty |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|10:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
I just drank a glass of water yet I'm still thirsty.. ugh. Anyways.
I've realized lunch is my most hated period now. I used to sit with people I enjoyed the company of, I did get annoyed sometimes.. but I MUCH rather be with people who -sometimes- (no one is perfect, look at me) annoy me than these fucking.. :@ UGH, bastards.
So Jasmine liked hanging out with them, so I thought I should return the favor for her since she sat with my friends (during this time I thought the guys weren't morons). Two days later I'm forcing myself not to rip out hair (not really, but I was mad). It's gay jokes 24/7, yet they claim to be anti-homophobic.
Worst of all, they complain about "emo" (you'll know why I quoted emo in a sec) so fucking much.. when they know NOTHING about it.
Like.. I don't care if people don't know about emo, I'm not those people who says "I hate people who complain about stuff they don't know!" then think anyone who wears baggy sweat pants is gangster.
So these people.. they're like "I want to kill emos" and all this crap, yet they think emo is anyone who dyes their hair black or wears makeup. They also think all emos are gay, not gay as in stupid, as in homosexuals.
In reality, the sterotypical homosexual (nice clothes, hair, usually prepy) hates "emos".
Anyways, done with my emo talk, but I'm just pissed at those guys who obsess over them and how much they hate something they know nothing about.
I'm just mad.. I used to have fun at lunch.
And now I think everyone hates me because I left.. oh well, I shouldn't have. But it was for Jasmine, and hopefully no one takes this the wrong way but my 6 best friends will always go first, even when I'm mad at them or they're mad at me.
Anyways.. <__< Yeah.. I dunno what's on my mind other than hating lunch now. I've been going home now, less money on food =)I found out from Zoe that Theresa hasn't been mad at me since September, so I've been feeling awkward around her since november for no reason. Oh well, I diserved it, what I said to her was really mean.
Ooo, and I like someone again <__< muhaha, yeah. It's stupid.. but it's not like I want anything. I'm only 15, not in a huge rush for dating. He told me I'm cute, but that means nothing o__o Oh well. |
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| this is just sad |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|03:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
I really.. really wish people could at least try making fun of others properly. If you're going to make fun of style, look in the rags you wear first. -__- I was called skinny and stuff today, but I'm not mad about it. It's true, I am under weight, and it's my fault for not eatting enough like a normal person. I should just eat at McDonalds for like a month, then I'd either be sick, over weight, or normal. People think it's stupid I obsess over my weight, but I admit I'm a very judging person, so of course I have to change my weight if I want to continue being able to judge. Actually, it's not a choice I make to judge people. If I see someone who dresses weird, puts on their make up weird, or just looks weird, I will judge them but then I feel bad right after, and it's just in my head.
I usually only purposly judge people out loud in arguments, when they try being bad ass or w/e, or good at dissing.. but fail. I'd love an argument with someone in jaf.. but I would hate it at the same time. Why can't someone who can put up a good argument get mad at me? I don't want any emo trips, on how you have a low ego or w/e. I want you to get even with me and show you can get back at me.
Anyways, my plan is to weigh 135 pounds by the ending of May, I would say April so I could wear tshirts but it's impossible to gain that much that fast. So by the time I'm 135 pounds, I can wear tshirts:D I wore one today, but it was obviously a mistake. And no I'm not pointing out Kyla or anything, it's not like she was the only one who said I'm under weight, Tommy did too. And they were both right, so I shouldn't be pissed at honesty.
I'll make sure I eat a proper breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So I won't only be average weight but I'll be healthy. So I'll wake up earlier for breakfast, I'll make my lunch or buy a healthy one with lots of calories, and make a huge dinner.
Nothing else really on my mind.. Except I need a scale so I can record my weight. |
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| heehee, Attention whore. |
[Feb. 28th, 2006|05:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
People need to understand I'm purposly pissing them off, and the more mad they get or when they try getting me mad, I'm pasting the convo to everyone in JAF and we all laugh. It's funny, and entertaining.
I don't get why girls are so scared to talk to guys, sometimes if they don't even like the guy they're like "he's cute, tee hee i'm soo shy"... It's stupid. If someone is good looking you talk to them more to try getting them in your pants or w/e. And I also don't get people getting so attached to who they like, maybe one day I'll really like someone and understand, but right now I don't. This is all my opinion (for the dumb asses). You may disagree with it, but you are wrong. I don't care what you say, you are wrong.
Like your parents for having you
and people for talking to you
Anyways, I think I've become a bit more judging lately. I notice if someone I don't even know walks by I'll think "damn they need to learn to dress themselves". I shouldn't talk, but who says bright gay men clothing is any better?
I love when people are over reacting in an argument, then the say you are. I was laughing so hard in real life when told this, seriously. I HAD to paste it to everyone in JAF, it was like watching the Comedy channel but with a lot of rambling about stuff I didn't care about.
Anyways, I know I'm in trouble. What's the worse that can happen, it's not my fault people don't understand when I'm warning them I can be an asshole. |
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| weee |
[Feb. 27th, 2006|04:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  creative | ] |
Today was fun, skip sheet isn't that bad.. it'll actually help me do work. I did well in all my classes and payed (paid?) attention, yay (i think it's paid.. but it reminds me of being paid). Anyways, like I said before I do like arguments, it's like a competition. I enter most arguments (like in JAF) because I feel the need to express my opinion, and it's fun. But I don't like arguing with stupid people, or at least people with horrible grammar/spelling.
Example:
me: fuck you
person: like omg your always mean to me and her
inner me: *oh my god you're always mean to she and I
Why do I hate bad grammar or spelling during an argument? Because I get distracted and correct their spelling in my head, then forget what we're arguing about. Seriously, if you don't know there's a "you're" and "your" and they both mean different things then.. ugh, I learned this from grade 5-10.
Some people get mad when I correct their grammar, then they will try correcting mine. Sometimes if I'm in a hurry I'll use slang and be like "be bak soon". I'm allowed using slang, because I know I'm making a mistake, I know how to spell 'back'. That's just an example though.
Anyways, people are probably pissed reading this. Except JAF/JAFF, and people who know my personality. But I really don't care, it's a livejournal, your choice for reading this. Don't spam me with comments, seriously. If you're pissed at least make it one post and PLEASE use a dictionary (www.dictionary.com). PLEASE! Seriously, I will not take your insults/anger serious if you spell worse than I did in grade 6.
P.S.
I don't have a spine for writing my thoughts in my JOURNAL?:O ZOMIGOD! Want to see me have a spine? Say one more rude thing to me. Do it.
P.S.S (or P.P.S?)
It's = It is
Its = Its
"It's a nice day/It is a nice day"
"The Causes of Violence and its effects on youth"
Edit:
Okay more complaining. I don't care what anyone tells me, people with low egos and tell everyone about it do want attention. You cut yourself, you want attention. You tell everyone you have a low self image, you want attention. Do not tell me you don't want attention, you know I won't change my mind so just don't argue. I don't care if other people feel bad for the people I'm talking about, I don't feel bad for them but if others do feel bad I won't judge them badly, it's not like I should. So don't think I'm a horrible person, because I could just think the same of you. "But we're not the ones who don't care!", no, you're just the ones falling for the tricks. How do I know these are tricks? I did all of this shit in grade 8, I don't fall for them anymore.
I probably seem like.. the biggest asshole now, but this is me, who I am around my best friends, the real me. Not someone who obsesses over bands or goes "OMG EMO BOYS KISSING! now if only I could get a b/f...". And this whole people being assholes to me about breaking up with Rudi. Oh I'm sorry, I should have stayed with him and lie to him about loving him. Do you know how it feels to lie to someone who's like.. WAY attached to you? Being told all this sweet stuff when you don't like them? Yeah. Just because I don't want to date people for the status, most people do it so they can just say they have a boyfriend.
Anyway, now I'm just bored... nothing on my mind. I found out something knew, straight guys are easy to make curious. |
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| Changing |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|11:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
Most people by now understand my opinion can change in seconds. I remember last month I was actually thinking of getting an emo haircut, not I hate emo, or at least what it has become. Emos are most gay peoples enemies (if the emos arent gay), with their dark ass colours and really bad taste in clothes, and bad hair cuts.
People might get mad I hate emo, but come on. I don't dress like most gay guys or act like them but I still have the mind of one. I'm probably not making sense, so I'll just list my problems with Emos, I mean the real emos, since I use emo a lot for a lot of things. But I also say emo referring to emotional, now don't jump off your chair getting pissed off it's called shortform, i'm not talking about emotive.
List: (remember i'm listing the new emo, not the old one, new emo = 'emo trend whores')
- most want attention, cutting. My opinion on cutting.. everyone who cuts, EVERYONE secretly, maybe they don't even know, wants attention. They want just one person to find out so they can have people to feel bad. "But they do it because it's the only pain they can control", good excuse, they also do it because they saw someone depressed do it on tv (e.g. degrassi) and thought "hey they got attention, but i'll make sure to refuse help when others find out!"
- i would say they're impossible to help, but there is nothing to help. They'll purposly lead you on, they'll be like.. "I'm unhappy, but I wrote it in my livejournal.. I won't tell you the url to it though" just so you'll say "NO! tell me the url!". That was just an example.
- It seems everyone who's depressed dyes their hair black, cuts a random diagonal line and buys tight clothes from goodwill.
- they over react
I'll list more when I'm less lazy, now I'll complain a bit more about random stuff.. *prepares for funny rude comments from white people*
I hate when people argue with me and expect to not get made fun of, don't try unless you're prepared. Like a Samurai says, "don't draw your sword unless you're prepared to die".
Rumors, stupid ones. When I think of it, most stuff I know is a 'rumor', little do i know a rocket could be made by mixing water and pencil shavings, I've never built one so how can I prove it's true? And western people (stopped my 'white people' word:) ) and their rumors about stuff they know nothing about. "When they transform in the japanese version they're naked!" "I know"!, omg you know?! because I swear I saw the japanese series and they were never naked, it's a kids show.
Also people who have sex and are considered bad people. It's called hormones (whore-moans, haha), some people have more some have less. And if you were hot or w/e you'd probably be on you knees with some guys in the bathroom stall too, just remember safe sex =)
People who over react, and I probably over react but I honestly don't care, I can not like myself, most people wouldn't like themselves if they had a clone or knew someone with the same personality. I hate it though, "OH MY GOD THAT GUY IS SO HOT! AHAHHAHAHA! TEE HEE!!", rrriiiiggghhhtt, you act like you've never seen a hot guy.
And this doesn't piss me off, but people who think I care -__- I get complained to (comments, msn, real life) and people think it affects me. You've just challenged with me, started an argument, this will end with me making fun of you.
And just so people know, Jasmine is part of JAF, no one makes fun of JAF. I think of JAF as family, as another me. You make fun of Jasmine I act as if you just made fun of me, this is kind of a warning to people who are bothering her. She's told me some stuff :) And yes she can dance, she hasn't taken lessons for half of her life so for only her first she, she does do well. Get over it, or I will jump in. JAF before friends, before anything.
(note: JAF is a group made more than a year ago, 7 best friends who stick together. We've had 3 huge wars, and MANY huge arguments, but in the end we're still best friends. JAFF is a new group, 2 people in it. JAF Friends. They're also family.
Jaf history: The last day of school at earl beatty everyone hung out, even with people they never talked to during grade 7-8. Even though JAF was split to 3 groups back then, we somehow all met up together. Even though some of JAF didn't go to earl beatty)
Anyways, Im bored. I'll sleep, who knows, maybe I'll be lucky tomorrow and have an argument. I always like a challenge. (I treat arguments like a game, each one I win is like another point, and I always look for someone who can put up a good argument)
Note to self: I'm actually glad I have guy friends right now, they're not bitches :O |
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| Stress is Death :'( |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|09:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I hate stress. I've been stressed for like.. 2 weeks now, maybe even more... and it's all this crap adding up.. and... Grr, it's getting to me now.
I keep getting major blackouts and migrains lately, I had to go to the doctor today to get pills for my migrains, but I didn't tell him about the blackouts, my parents don't even know how bad the blackouts are getting.
Getting a blackout, smacking my head on the glass shower door, falling back and hitting it on the cupboard, then falling to the ground.. yeah... fun... I swear, one day I'll have a blackout in the middle of the street and die. Or I'll have a huge one and my body will just shut down.
These migrains aren't fun either. I get them a lot, and I'm getting better at hiding them. But this morning was hell... I woke up at 2am, with a huge pain, so I try to sleep. Finally at 3am I fall asleep, then I wake up to my alarm at 7am, my headache is now a bitch ass migrain. I take advil and it slightly goes away... luckily I went to the doctor and got pills, that I took right when I got home. I'm not supposed to take them that much, they're even stronger than my mom's pain killers, and hers are really strong..
And that's not why I'm stressed, all of these things are because of stress. I'm stressed... well, because everything. Everything. Big or small, it's all added up. And my head feels like it could explode from all these things on my mind at once, and It's really hard. I wish I could talk to my friends about it, but I'm just not good at that... I don't like being the centre of attention if it's something serious.
Maybe I can look at it in a good way, or joke about it. I usually always joke about everything serious, because I don't like being serious. Notice how at school I laughed about me getting hurt from a blackout, and how I joke about not liking to be touched. Yet really, on the inside, I'm pissed or upset about it.
Edit:
Well, I wrote everything above, thought that would help me, but now I'm just randomly pissed. Time to vent out some anger, maybe that's the cause of some stress.
First of all, I'm SOOOOOO sick of people complaining about their self image. Oh no, something is wrong with you, you can't be human!:O FUCK! Seriously, you're like, 1 pound over average and you freak out. All your friends tell you you're not ugly or fat, but you can't believe them, can you? And you know why? Because you need attention.
And one more person complains about their friends, who are also friends to me gets gay french boy silent treatment. I'm sick of one friend saying something, and behind their back my other friend rolls their eyes at them. How about you tell them what they're doing wrong? It's not that hard, it's just call a spine.
Oh and the all amazing making fun of friends who didn't do anything wrong. Or the complaining about their friends to them, you don't do that. "You're letting HER cut your hair?!". Yeah, I love how one of the girls who said that hates her short hair. Maybe if you didn't cut it.
And watch, tomorrow when people see I don't have my hair cut, they will say "CUT YOUR HAIR YOU HIPPY" or something like that. And it's funny, because the people making fun of me all have low egos, and while they're making fun of me for... not cutting my hair, or not wearing clothes that normal gay people would, they think they're fat, ugly, gross, weird, annoying, and uncool. Just because you have problems with yourself gives you no right to be a bitch to me, or I will do everything I can to make your ego lower than it's ever been, because when I'm mad I don't think, all I do is get revenge.
By the way, this isn't why I'm stressed, but I thought complaining in here might help my stress level.
Note to self: One month anniversary tomorrow (: |
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| Stress Should Die. |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|04:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | stressed | ] |
Okay, I editted this. (: I wrote out a few of the reasons I was mad/stressed/etc, and now I'm calm. Hopefully I'll stay calm.
(: Anyways, Tomorrow is Friday. This means haircut + hair dye, should I get it cut emo? I want to...
Don't know what else to write, no longer angry... well at least I'm not right now. |
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| ANOTHER Quiz, yayyy |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|11:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
I stole this from an e-mail Karen sent me...
.:General Info:.
Name: Reece
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Height: 5'9
Birthday: August 14
Hair Color: brown, dye it black though
Describe yourself in one word: Reece
Describe your personality in one word: Reece =D
.:School Life:.
What grade are you in: 10
What school do you go to: Danforth
And where is that: By Greenwood
Do you get good grades: Nope
Favorite Subject: Lol. No.
.:Love Life:.
Sexual Preference: Guys
Do you have a bf/gf: Yes
If so,what is their name: ...
How long have you been dating: 3 weeks 2 days?
Do you consider yourself in love with them: I don't know about IN love..
If so,why: ...
Do you have a crush: Did I not just say I'm dating someone.
If so,what is their name: ...
Why do you like them: ...
Do they know you: ...
Do they know that you like them: .......
How long have you known them: *smack*
.:Friends:.
Best Friend(s): JAF (Stella, Joy, Jasmine, Sammy, Tansy, and Michelle)
How long have you been friends: We became JAF Feb. 5th 2005... but best friends for about a year
Do you consider yourself a good friend: If I'm not in a bad mood
How many friends do you think you have: The same amount your mom gets paid, not very much.
Most popular: Dunno... Joy is a popular whore, Jasmine knows everyone, Tansy knows everyone...
Most conceited: None of them really are... Maybe Stella? Joy? Jasmine?
Friendliest: Sammy
Meanest: *looks at them all*
Prettiest: Joy
Craziest: Stella
Oldest: Sammy
Youngest: Joy?
Most recent: Michelle?
Smartest: Sammy/Tansy/Stella/Michelle/Jasmine... LOL (Joy: *shoots*)
.:Favorites:.
Food: French Toast
Person: Your mother^^
Number: 69
Show: Hmm... Dunno
Letter: R
Song: Les Mizerables - Gackt
Band/Singer: Panic! At the Disco or Fall Out Boy (not Fallout Boy...)
Place in the world: Canada
Season: Winter
.:Your-:.
Dream Vacation: Joy's...:@
Dream House: A house that isn't owned by Metis parents. (Well Metis mom..)
Dream Room: Walls made out of hot guys who do what you say. You think I'm joking?
Location: Canada
.:Last Time You:.
Watched T.V.: 9:00pm?
Went to the bathroom: Washed my face like 15 min ago?
Ate: An hour ago
Slept: Last night around 8:00pm then woke up at 2am and went back to sleep at 4am
Listened to music: Now?
Used the phone: Few days ago (Phone = evil)
IMed someone/Got an IM: Now, talking to my slut Joy^^
Went to school: Today
Played a game: Now (DDM)
Took a shower: This morning
Hugged someone: Yesterday, Rudi.
Went on a date: Depends what you opinion is on a date
Wrote a letter: I wrote one on Murder Mansion today
Cried: Not sure
.:Last Person You:.
Hugged: Rudi
Kissed: See this is when I slap..
Laughed at: Joy for being alive
Cried over: dunno...
IMed/Got an IM from: YOU JUST ASKED! JOY! GRRR
Hurt: ... I can't say because it's dirt
Talked to: Joy
Spoke to on the phone: your mother she wanted her pay cheque
Ate with: myself
Spent time with: school friends =D
Saw: Mom
Missed: Jill (she died..)
Heard: Mom
Played with: In bed? =O
.:Have You Ever:.
Been out of the country: Nope
Been out of state/province: Think so
Done drugs: Advil
Done anything illegal: Yes
Slapped someone: dunno
Cut yourself: ...
Played an instrument: grade 4 - recorder bitch
Hurt someone for no reason: dunno
Hurt someone: ...
Killed an insect/bug: When I was little, now I don't like to
Gotten stung by a bee: nope
Lied to your parents: maybe
Stole Something: few times
.:This Or That:.
Rock or Rap: Rock
Singing or Songwriting: Songwriting
Tennis Shoes or Sandals: Eww.
Phone or Computer: computer
Biking or Skating: skating
Analog or Digital: digital
Coke or Pepsi: coke
Sprite or Sierra Mist: sprite
MTV or VH1: ?
R&B or Country: none
Cingular or T-Mobile: sex
Cats or Dogs: cats
AIM or Yahoo: AIM
Bzoink or Quizilla: quizilla
.:Word Association:.
Birthday: Cake
Peanut: Butter Jelly Time
Good Charlotte: Death
Ravioli: Spongebob
President Bush: Monkey
T.V.: computer
Rock: Guitar?
Rap: Shit aka Sean's teeth
Chef: Hat
Boys: sex
Girls: boobs?
Calendar: date
Fan: mail
Evil: Mirror
.:Right Now:
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Tea
Watching: porn.. haha, joking (it's only 11:30pm)
What is on your mousepad: Black.
What are you doing: No one
What song are you listening to: The Workout - Utada
What's in your CD player: Don't have one
Wearing: sisters boyfriends sweater, jeans, tshirt, boxers
Time: 11:3-something pm
Month: January
Day of the Month: 10
Year: 2006
Day of the week: Tuesday
What website are you on: www.gmail.com and www.byond.com (byond is a game site)
.:Random Things:.
What color is your mousepad: black
What color is your keyboard: black and grey
What is the phrase you use the most online: "..."
Did you like this survey: I dunno
Are you sad that it's over: no.
What are you gonna do after this survey is over: talk to joy more
Do you like pop-up ads: ... more than you. I hate them btw.
How long have you been online: STFU why... nvm. |
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